My Trip to the Badia

Work in Progress....

"I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference."- Robert Frost

For the last five days, I have lived in the small Beduoin town of Al Rajjif in the south of Jordan near Petra. I lived with a family that consisted of two wives, a husband and between 6-8 children (It is hard to keep track). Across the road from my family's house was the house where my mother's son lived with his wife. This family hosted another girl from SIT, Ariel. This was nice because the two of us could hang out everyday and this made things easier. 

While I want to tell the story of how I lived with a beduoin family for a week, adapted to their ways and became a part of the family and culture, this would not be accurate. The entire time I felt like an outsider and frankly, I did not feel the welcome I wanted. I would love to sound like an anthropologist that became a member of the tribe, so to speak, but that is just not possible. A quote from "oh, the Places You'll Go" helped me deal with this:

"You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't.
Because, sometimes, you won't.

I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
that Bang-ups
and Hang-ups
can happen to you. "

Not everything will be 10/10. Sometimes things won't work out. At least I tried and I still learned a lot.

On Wednesday, I put on my beduoin dress, a thobe, and wrapped my hair up in my pink hijab. I had watched numerous youtube tutorials on how to wrap a hijab and also had help from my lovely host mother in Amman. below is a picture of me in my dress as well as other SIT students. When I walked in the room, Dima, one of the staff members, asked me who had done my hijab because it looked so good. I was so proud to say that my host mom had taught me, but that I did it myself. I even helped a few other students do their own hijabs. The trick: pins :).

The ride to Al Rajiff took about four hours. We traveled in a bus and dropped students off at different locations on the way. I sat in my thobe and hijab all the way because I was really excited for the journey.

Al Jajiff with petra in the distance

When I reached my host family's house, I was happy to see that Ariel was living across the street. I figured this was excellent in case I had a problem. My host father is a retired policeman, my host mother is a retired school administrater but now works in a special needs school.I think that my host mom and dad were also cousins. I believe my other host mother is a stay at home mom, but I never asked her. The two most prominent family members to me were two sisters. Rania is a 20 year old girl studying to be an English translator. Admud (sp) is a 13 year old bubbly girl. As time went on, I began to wonder if she had some sort of mental definciency. My mother had lost a child that suffered from a mental disorder and her picture hung in the house. Life has been rough for my mom. 

Ariel was much more recieved into the family than I was. I tried to gain their love by cooking, cleaning and participating in Arabic conversations. However, Ariel was the standout favorite.

On the first day, we took a tour of the local schools and visited the old village of Al Rajiff. The old town is right next door to the new one. I found this interesting. Below are pictures. Apparently people moved from the old village to the new one in the 1980s. I will research more about this at some point.

Ariel and I with one host mom and a friend

Old Mosque

Personal experiences
1)The second day in the badia, I asked my host mom if Ariel and I could go for a walk. I told her that we would go to the mosque, which I could see from the house. After giving her my phone number, she agreed to let me leave. 10 minutes later, my host brothers came in a car to pick Ariel and I up. My host sister was a few feet back yelling about how we had walked too far. It had only been 10 minutes!!! Ariel and I were driven back to the house. We knew we were in trouble. When we got home (30 sec later) Mom and Pop were standing on the porch staring at us in the car. They seemed upset. When we got out of the car, they asked us (In Arabic) what we were doing and where we were going. Since Ariel does not know much Arabic I explained that we had asked to go on a walk to the mosque and wanted to get a better view of Petra's mountains. They did not seem to believe me and asked me again. I repeated myself. I was upset that I was being made to feel like a bad little kid. I had taken an international flight to Jordan alone, surely I could take a walk. After that, we were not allowed to take walks. Apparently something bad could happen.
2) Another SIT kid, Will, lived 5 minutes away. One time he and his older brother came over to borrow my cell phone charger. We thought this was no big deal. He would get the charger then leave and bring it back tomorrow. Turns out it was. When he came, my host mom asked me why Will was coming over. I said he wanted my charger. Once again, she seemed to doubt me. I repeated myself. Meanwhile, Will and his brother were seated in the formal sitting room and told to wait for me. My host mom sat with them. The whole thing was so formal. I handed him the phone charger and he left. It seems that I had messed up by talking to Will. For the rest of the trip, the host family would not allow Ariel and I to go see Will. Boys and girls do not mix.
3)I rock climbed for the first time up the mountain at small Petra. The view was amazing! This happened during a family picnik in the area which was also good.

At Petra, the family had a picnik. We ate roasted chicken, yoghurt and pita bread. I was in heaven. Ariel and I had a fun time looking around. I enjoyed the rock climbing. Once I reached the top, I told the group I had never done this before. Ariel told me I should not have come if this was my first time because it is tough. Somehow I made it through. I Don't know how, but I did well and people were a tad bit surprised. Below are pictures.

Here are some things I learned in the Badia

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.”- Mark Twain

Plural Marriage

When I think of a man with many wives, I think of the TV show Sister Wives. All the women seem to be jealous of the other and need to make sure that everything is equal or divided in a way that they approve of. What I saw in my host family was different. Both women were between 50-60 years old so perhaps maturity had alot to do with what I observed. The first wife was very smart. She went to college and ran a school. She was also a beautiful woman. The second wife did not seem as intellegent or attractive. What I believe and other students have backed me up on is that different types of women are meant for different roles. The first wife seems to be the more beautiful and intellegent one. She appears to be "the catch". The husband seems to favor her and she runs the house. Whatever she says goes, the other wife can not disagree at all. The second wife does not have this influence or as much attention. What surprised me most is that this does not seem to create conflict in the home. The second wife seems okay with this agreement. It seems as if the second wife position is more for the benefit of the second wife. She gets a place to live and a family. The husband gets more children and more help around the house. This seems to be more of a business arrangement, and that's okay. Everyone gets what they need out of this arrangement. It might also help how the second wife has her own home. She gets her own space and sphere of influence as well. In Sister Wives, it seems that all the women are going for a relationship that would equate to a first wife position. This does not work at all, in my opinion. While I would never want a plural marriage, I do see how it can work if a person is in a certain mindset. Perhaps a woman in that community knows what she can get and just goes with it. I really don't know.

Also, Ariel hosts mom married her young love, but seems okay with him taking another wife in the future. I was shocked by this. She seemed to like the idea of a large family, which I can understand. 

Gender Roles in a Bedu Society

This is where things get interesting. While the first wife has most of the say, she can be trumped by Papa at anytime. He runs the house and makes decisions. The last night we were there, the women were playing cards. When the dad wanted to play, he asked Ariel to stop playing. Understanding that daddy was not a warm fuzzy man (he had his soft moments, though), we though nothing of it. Next the oldest brother wanted to play. The daughter in law gave up her seat automatically and watched the game, obviously wanting to play. Next the second wife had to give up her seat to a man. When the men wanted to play, the women had to get up. No comments were made or questions were asked.

Additionally, I had a sad conversation with my host sister, Rania, who was 20. She currently studies that the university of Maan and wants to be an English translator. I felt like we were kindred spirits. She told me that she scored a 93% on the Tawghi exam on her first try. Keep in mind that only 28% of the country passes the exam on the first try. She must be a genius to score a 93% on the exam. She told me that she had the opportunity to go to the University of Jordan, but her mom had said no. Her mom does not want her to leave the village. As a result, she studies at a small school near the village. Rania is sad about this. Also, she feels she will not be able to marry the man she wants to, her cousin. She told me she feels "hopeless" and that she has no control over her life. I was so depressed after this conversation because I honeslty could not disagree with her. Things are tough. I could relate being the same age and wanting the same things. She must listen to her dad and parents.

Issue of Who is Marrying Who
While I was talking to my host sister, Rania, she asked me if I had any male cousins. I said yes and that the ones I usually talk to are Carl and Henry. Henry is in Middle School and Carl is in high school. Rania looked surprised and I asked her what she was thinking. She said that I did not have many choices over who I would marry and asked who I would pick. While I love both my cousins, I would not be interested in marrying them. This is culturally unacceptable for me. However, things are different in the Badia. Cousins marry cousins. This lead me to think about shrinking of the gene pool. I had toured a special needs school and it appears that my one host sister had some type of mental condition. I also know that a child had died in the family that had a disorder. While marrying your cousin might not be incest, it does shrink down the amount of different genes in the mix. Perhaps the small village has a bit of this issue. I do not know for sure, I am just posing a question. Honestly, I am really surprised that I believe the gene pool might be too small. I was not expecting to walk away with that opinion.

Cultural things I noticed
1) People don't talk in the Badia, they yell. They are not angry, they are just very loud
2) People in the Badia like to touch you. If you are walking, they want to hold your hand or put their arm around you (same gender only). For instance, I was playing cards one night and I had my host mom's boobs pressed into my back. She seemed fine being that close to me. I however, needed space
3) The youngest female has to get up and serve everyone else. Sometimes it was me and it was scary.
4) The Bedouins like sugar...alot. A cup of tea will have 3 scoops of sugar. You drink like 15 cups a day. Thats alot of sugar. I actually went through a sugar hangover when I got home. Someone else developed sores in their mouth.
5) They know Fusha better than people in Amman
6) During the evening, it was not uncommon to see the daughter-inlaw rubbing the father's head and back. I found this a bit odd. However, when you notice that this is how the other children touched their father, it became a bit less odd.
7) A kid can be hit if they do wrong. No one seems too bothered by this.

Going Shopping

Hello,

Today was a good day. Mahmoud came back to teach and I love having an Arabic teacher who liked to challenge me. I actually did not mind when he grabbed my notebook today. He is a great teacher. I love how he teaches us hard and rarely used Arabic grammar rules. It's amazing.

Mahmoud always says the most interesting things. I normally do not agree with what he has to say, but I listen and enjoy hearing another viewpoint. We had a class discussion about whether Capitalism had morals incorporated in it. I stayed out of the discussion for the most part. Mahmoud thinks that capitalism is bad and has no redeeming qualities. I politely disagree, but did not feel the need to voice my opinion. However, one other comment grabbed my attention. He asked one of my female classmates if she wanted to get married someday. She responded that she did not know and maybe was not interested. Mahmoud responded that girls need to get married in order to be happy and needed a man to take care of them. Once again, I disagree. I told him I agree with the other student. After a while, all the girls politely nodded, but no one agreed with Mahmoud. He eventually just moved on.

After school today SIT arranged for the student helpers, Jordanian College Students, to take us shopping downtown. Our trip to the Badia, or rural desert community, is coming up. While it is not required at all, we are encouraged to buy traditional beduin clothing. Of course I was totally into the idea. The women wear a thobe, or a long dress that is embroidered with many different colors. The men wear a Dishdasha, a long shirt like dress, with a kefiya and egal. In addition to a thobe, many beduin women wear a hijab to cover their hair. The SIT program insists that it is not required for any female student to wear a hijab. If we would like, we can wear one. I decided I will wear one because I want the experience. When in Rome.... Some students will not wear the traditional dress. This confuses me. If you can to Jordan for a cultural experience, why would you not wear the traditional dress? It is showing respect to the culture and the people in the Badia will appreciate it. If you are a women wearing skinny jeans and a tank top, that is not quite what they want to see you wearing. Just buy the clothes! It's a souvenir!

A women wearing a thobe and a hijab

Men wearing a dishdasha, kefiya and egal

Shopping for the clothing was fun. We all went to a small store to shop together. The men of the group asked the ladies to help them with the color choice. However, the shop was tiny and did not have many different thobes to choose from. Many of the thobes were bright colors and had sequins. I know that traditionally the thobes are black, so I did not want a colored one. Also, I receive enough attention on a daily basis, I do not need to draw attention to myself with glitter and sequins.  I had saw another store a few blocks up and wanted to go there. I saw another girl who did not seem to enjoy the selection either. I asked if she wanted to go with me to the other store. She said yes and we left. On the way out, we grabbed one of the guys, Daniel to walk with us. He was our male escort.

Shopping was fun. We helped Daniel pick out dishdasha at another store, it was of better quality than the first store. Paige and I shopped around and made it to the store I had seen before. It was so beautiful! All the thobes were black and had colored embroidery. This was how the traditional thobe should look. Paige was impressed by the store as well, which was a relief. We immediately tried on many different thobes. I went for the pink ones. While I am dressing traditionally, I still have to be myself and I would always pick pink. I also tried on some rainbow ones, but they were a bit showy and Paige and I decided against them. It was a bit hard to find a thobe. Unfortunately, an extra small is still a big on me and they had not so many extra smalls. At the end, Paige picked a beautiful blue one and I picked a pink, brown and green one that I loved. The man told us that mine was $35 while Paige's was $50. This was a very high price. Since I had taken Paige there, I started to barter with the man over the price of her thobe. I said 50 was too high and asked for $25. He said no and responded that since we were American, we must be wealthy. I responded that we are college students without jobs and do not have a lot of cash. At that point he caved and gave it to her at $35. I was delighted that I had achieved this in Arabic and Paige was ecstatic. I totally forgot to barter for my own, but I'm glad I helped Paige. I am also glad I ran the whole sale in Arabic. I'm proud that I was able to communicate with all the shopkeepers. 

Thobe Store in Downtown Amman I loved! I loved the colors and would have liked to have tried all of them on!

After the clothes, Paige and I went to look at scarves and hijab. I originally put on a one piece elastic hijab, but did not like it and it was not comfortable. Next, I tried a two piece elastic. I put it on okay and asked the man working at the store to help. Of course, he was of minimal assistance with my lady product. I figured that this looked like the easier hijab to wear and just went with it. I argued down the price from 10JD to 7JD, once again the whole sale was in Arabic. I bought a light pink hijab and it matches my thobe wonderfully. Paige decided she did not want the hijab. I totally understand. I can't say it was very comfortable. But when she decided not to buy the hijab, the man was not very good about letting her leave. He wanted her to buy something. Out male escort, Daniel, stepped in and got him to back down. Thanks Daniel!

After shopping we walked around Souk Sukr a bit. Paige commented how people just kept staring at me. Honestly, I just look down when I walk. I don't want to invite attention. As a result, I now tend not to notice. Today at the souk was different then yesterday. The men there were aggressive. One man kept calling out for me and making comments about my hair and appearance. I pretended to be one of the many Americans that don't speak Arabic. A friend of my got touched on the arm. I can't say I would want to go back around 6pm again. I feel like it was a different crowd. I did help some SIT girls to buy dates and bags of coffee. They were appreciative. I was tired though so the bartering did not really work so well. 

When I got home, my host mom wanted to see my clothes. I showed her the dress. She noticed that it was about 6 inches to long. I explained that it was an extra small and that it was the smallest and shortest I could get. In fact, the store I went to first did not even sell my size. I guess I can eat a bit more of mom's cooking :). She offered to hem it for me. This was so sweet of her and now my those fits so much better and I will not trip over it. My host mom also helped me figure out how to wear the hijab. My host mom does not personally wear one, but she is better acquainted with them then I am. She liked how I matched the hijab with the thobe and was happy that I bartered for the thobe. She said Paige paid an appropriate price. That's good. I feel that sometimes I get overcharged cause I'm foreign. 

So you might be wondering what my thobe and hijab look like. I will post pictures of my outfit when I go to the Badia. Stay tuned...

PS- Its Three weeks in and I just made my first friend, Bridget. I thought this was noteworthy to post. 

Also, since it is three weeks in I figured I would post things I miss about home as well as things that are just better in Jordan.

1) I miss miss miss my car. Sometimes taxi rides home are exhausting and hard. I miss the sense of control and freedom a car gives you

2) Casual- I miss being able to flop on a couch or just slouch. Posture is just so strict here

Things that are better

1) People are nicer and more helpful here

2) Even the smalls things, like fruit markets, are interesting and different

3) you can barter. I love the bartering so much. Its a challenge and a game

See you later,
Natalie

Souk Al Sukar

Hello,

After school today, I headed down to Souk al Sukar with some people who were doing a project on the area. I had never been, so I tagged along for the ride. Souk al Sukar is a vegetable market downtown that sells home grown organic fruits and vegetables for very good prices. All the shopkeepers were friendly and asked us to take pictures of them in front of their fruits and vegetables. I enjoyed seeing all the pride the owners had in their produce. A car tried to drive right down the middle of the souk and everyone moved out of its way. There are no real traffic laws in Jordan. I almost got hit by a bus and a van while there. A friend had to pull me by my backpack two times. You need to be on your toes if you go.

Cucumbers arranged in a pretty way

How much for that meat in the window?

Spices

The car making its way through the souk

Nuts and beans

Many Fruits

Fish in a bucket. I must admit, this smelled

The largest heads of Lettuce I have ever seen!

While Downtown, I also saw King Husseiny Mosque. This mosque was built over the mosque of the second Rashidun Caliph, Umar by King Hussein in 1924. It was remodeled in 1987. This mosque I am not allowed to enter and it was not particularly pretty, but my goal is to visit as many of the major mosques as possible. Its on!

Until next time, 

Natalie

From the Citadel, to the Mosque

Hello again,

Arg! I spent 2 hours writing this and for some reason it didn't save! Take II.


Also, feel free to visit my Facebook page Link to Natalie's Facebook Page if you would like to see more pictures. I not be posting all 205 of today's pictures on my blog.


Yesterday I woke up early and wanted to go off on an adventure and see something new. So I decided to crack and finally buy the LonelyPlanet guide to Jordan and admit to myself that I am a nerdy tourist. One of the suggested sites that Lonely Planet told me to go to was the Citadel. The day before, I had asked SIT people if they wanted to go to the Citadel with me. After many no's and many more no responses, I decided no one wanted to go with me. This did not surprise me as I am hardly the popular girl in the group. I tend to think differently and want different things from the rest of the group. No side is better and I state this fact without judgement. With LonelyPlanet confirming where I wanted to go, I packed up my backpack and hailed a taxi near my house. I figured the day would either be extremely bad or extremely good since I was naviagating the city alone. I looked up some Jordanian words before I left to help me navigate better. I figured the risk was worth taking. I did not come to Amman to quietly sit in some cafe or to go to bars. I could have done that at home. I want to explore and see new things and ideas. Today was the day I would sink or swim.

The Taxi I hailed was driven by an old man wearing a red kefiya. I asked him in Arabic to take me to Jabal Qal'a, or the citadel. He looked confused and said some things I didn't understand, but within a second, the taxi was soaring down the road. At this moment I started to worry. Would I get to the citadel? Was I nuts for trying to fly solo? Why did the man not seem to know where the citadel was? Soon enough, the taxi drove through downtown and started climbing the massive hills that are actually mountains in Amman. I started to feel better. At least I was going up a mountain.

I actually reached the citadel with ease and within 10 minutes from leaving my house. The man dropped me right off at the visitor's enterence. I checked in with the desk and paid my 2JD for the ticket. Then I walked through the gates to the citadel. I was amazed to see such a clear view of all the ruins. I immediately looked at the Temple of Hercules, the most prominent part of the citadel. The temple of Hercules in Amman is larger than any temple in Rome, and that's a fact! Next my eyes were drawn to the amazing panoramic views of all of Amman. It was breath taking. I have honestly never felt so relaxed in my life. It was so peaceful. I could spend forever in the citadel. While at the citadel, I also saw remnants of the Roman forum.

View from Citadel

Temple of Hercules

Temple of Hercules from a distance

Something Roman lol

The Roman Theater could sit 6,000 people comfortably. The highest seats are referred to as "the gods" and the stadium is oriented so the sun does not hit spectators so much. I have been there, but this is the view from the citadel.

Roman AAmpitheather

Just some columns...nbd

View of around the citadel

Me in front of the temple of Hercules

Something stony

L

A Fallen Column

A Mosque I saw from the Citadel. Looks like Abu Darwish Mosque but it is not. 

Roman Amphitheater from the Citadel

 A View of the Odeon from the Citadel. The Odean was where musical performances were held.


Also at the citadel  are the ruins of a Byzantine Basilica. This basilica was built between the 5th to 6th century and is flanked by columns.

Ruins of a Byzantine Church at the Citadel

 More Ruins of a Byzantine Church

The real reason I wanted to go to the citadel was to see the Umayyad Palace. The Umayyads were the second caliphate that ran the Islamic Empire after the death of Muhammad. A Caliph was the political ruler of the Islamic Empire that ran the empire after the death of Muhammad. The caliph had a non religious role. He was NOT a prophet. The Umayyads were known for their decadence, their corruption and their wealth. They were eventually overthrown because of this by the Abbasaid Caliphate. The Umayyad Palace was completed during the 8th century. It is not surprising to find this palace in Amman since the Umayyads were based in Damascus. The Dome covers the audience hall that people would have seen when they entered the palace. The palace is built in the shape of a cross since it was built over an existing byzantine basilica.

The real reason I went to the Citadel was to see this, the Umayyad Palce

More ruins of a Byzantine Church

 A distant view of the Umayyad Mosque

A side passage in the Umayyad Palace

The ruins of the main gate leading to the Umayyad Palace

After the Ruins, I decided to go to the museum. Here I found some interesting stuff. 

Coffins

After the Citadel, I went to visit some of the mosques I spotted from the citadel. The first mosque I visted was Abdullah II mosque. This is the only mosque in Amman that allows non muslims to enter and look around. The mosque was completed in 1989 in memory of King Abdullah I, the founder of Transjordan. Abdullah was assassinated in Jerusalem at Al Aqsa mosque by a Palestinian man that disliked how Abdullah was going to sign a peace agreement with Israel. It is amazing how the large prayer hall does not have any columns to support its dome. When entering the mosque, women are supposed to wear a black Abaya, or cloak with a hood. I felt like a dementor in Harry Potter and wondered how my hot pink back pack fit in with the outfit. 

King Abdullah I's Mosque. It has two minarets

Dome of King Abdullah's Mosque

Where you wash before prayer. Before Prayer, Muslims preform ablutions to cleanse their bodies. Below is a link that explains ablutions. 

Ablutions- Wudu 

A main prayer room

Dome in the main prayer room. The blue represents the sky while the gold rays represent the 99 names of Allah. These 99 names are derrived from names and atributes given to God in the Quran. 

Stained glass in the main prayer room

The Mahrib and Minbar. The Mahrib points in the direction in which all muslims should pray, East to Mecca. The Minbar is where the Imam speaks form. It always reminds me of stairs.

Smaller dome over perhaps another prayer room.

I also took a picture outside Abu Darwish Mosque. This mosque was commissioned by King Hussein as well as  Mustafa Jakazi in 1961. It is made in a Levantine style with black and white stone.

Abu Darwish Mosque

Obvious renovation work on the Abu Darwish mosque. Kind of makes me disapointed.

Until next time, 

Natalie