Hello,
Yesterday my class went to a retirement community in Amman. It was an interesting experience. In Jordan and really the Middle East, it is not good to put your loved one in a nursing home or retirement community. It brings "shame" on the family. Essentially, everyone will look at the person's sons and daughters and say "what's wrong with you? Can't you take care of your mother?". As a result, retirement homes are a taboo and people do not openly use them.
The majority of the people I saw were about 65 years old and in relatively good health. They were walking around and excited for visitors. We gave each person a card, a lily and some cookies. They liked the flowers the most and the cookies the least. As a result, we, the students, ate a ton of cookies from a nice bakery in Abdoun. Kind of shameful on our part! They had pink icing so I could not resist.
A fair amount of the residents spoke English. One man greeted us with the word "imperialist" in English. Our teachers tried to shuffle us away from the man, but honestly we were not too upset. He explained that he did not like the US Government, but that he loved the American people. I hear this a lot in Jordan, and even in Turkey, so it does not upset me. Everyone is entitled to their opinion as long as you are respectful and go about addressing it in an appropriate manner. The teachers always worry about us feeling upset over this, and frankly it does not phase us as long as it is a respectful dialogue.
What upset me about the retirement home was the fact that I knew the residents did not choose to live there. I hope that they were happy. We were told by the receptionist not to ask about their children as it might upset them. However, one lady had pictures of her with her daughter at her wedding all over her room. When I had a moment, I asked the receptionist what activities the residents participate in. She responded that they go out to dinner, have shopping trips and even gather a group for the umra, or small hajj (pilgrimage to Mecca). It is nice that the residents can leave campus and even travel with a staff that will attend to their needs. From what I saw, each resident had a nurse in their room all the time, so they were not lonely. The staff looked really patient and kind too and helped them pick out a cookie and a flower that they would like to have. The residents lived in nice apartments sometimes alone and sometimes with a roommate. I also asked the receptionist if this retirement community was government funded or privately owned. She said privately owned. As a result, I know that the people living there must have been quite wealthy.
Personally, I think it is sometimes best for a person to go to a nursing home. Key word:sometimes. It is not for everyone and for every situation. But in advanced health situations, allowances should be made to make sure the person receives the best treatment possible.
til next time,
Natalie
Yesterday my class went to a retirement community in Amman. It was an interesting experience. In Jordan and really the Middle East, it is not good to put your loved one in a nursing home or retirement community. It brings "shame" on the family. Essentially, everyone will look at the person's sons and daughters and say "what's wrong with you? Can't you take care of your mother?". As a result, retirement homes are a taboo and people do not openly use them.
The majority of the people I saw were about 65 years old and in relatively good health. They were walking around and excited for visitors. We gave each person a card, a lily and some cookies. They liked the flowers the most and the cookies the least. As a result, we, the students, ate a ton of cookies from a nice bakery in Abdoun. Kind of shameful on our part! They had pink icing so I could not resist.
A fair amount of the residents spoke English. One man greeted us with the word "imperialist" in English. Our teachers tried to shuffle us away from the man, but honestly we were not too upset. He explained that he did not like the US Government, but that he loved the American people. I hear this a lot in Jordan, and even in Turkey, so it does not upset me. Everyone is entitled to their opinion as long as you are respectful and go about addressing it in an appropriate manner. The teachers always worry about us feeling upset over this, and frankly it does not phase us as long as it is a respectful dialogue.
What upset me about the retirement home was the fact that I knew the residents did not choose to live there. I hope that they were happy. We were told by the receptionist not to ask about their children as it might upset them. However, one lady had pictures of her with her daughter at her wedding all over her room. When I had a moment, I asked the receptionist what activities the residents participate in. She responded that they go out to dinner, have shopping trips and even gather a group for the umra, or small hajj (pilgrimage to Mecca). It is nice that the residents can leave campus and even travel with a staff that will attend to their needs. From what I saw, each resident had a nurse in their room all the time, so they were not lonely. The staff looked really patient and kind too and helped them pick out a cookie and a flower that they would like to have. The residents lived in nice apartments sometimes alone and sometimes with a roommate. I also asked the receptionist if this retirement community was government funded or privately owned. She said privately owned. As a result, I know that the people living there must have been quite wealthy.
A Jordanian friend told me a personal account of her experience with retirement homes. She told me that a friend had a mother-in-law with advanced Alzheimer's. The woman would beat her and even broke her son's arm. As a result, it was necessary to put her in a home because she was becoming dangerous. Because it is taboo to put someone in a nursing home in Jordan, the family moved to the United States and put her in a nursing home there. This way, none of the other family members would know that the grandmother is living in a home and thus no shame would be put on the family. When relatives call, they always say that grandma is sleeping and can't come to the phone. It is interesting how even in advance health care situations, a family is expected to keep the person with them even if it might not be beneficial to the older woman.
Personally, I think it is sometimes best for a person to go to a nursing home. Key word:sometimes. It is not for everyone and for every situation. But in advanced health situations, allowances should be made to make sure the person receives the best treatment possible.
til next time,
Natalie
No comments:
Post a Comment